CHRIS BROWN, HOOPSTER ANDREW BYNUM—UPSTANDING AND QUALITY PEOPLE

The Shad has admittedly become a bit militant about people who park in handicap spots. I called a woman on it in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot recently. She claimed she didn’t know it was a HC spot. I pointed out the freshly painted, light blue square with the outline of a wheelchair in it under her piece of crap car as well as the big sign staring her right in the face. But nothing grinds The Shad’s gears more than people who think they are entitled to park in such spots.

First case in point: Andrew Bynum, center for the Los Angeles Lakers. Bynum was recently photographed parking his $100,000, straight-six BMW in a HC spot (actually he took up two spots). He makes $14 million a year (with any luck, the lockout will mean he gets bubkus for the foreseeable future). And before anyone who likes La-La Land says it—no, the fact that he an anti-hockey-player wussy who won’t play because of his wobbly knees doesn’t qualify him to park in that spot.

Even worse than Bynum (and that’s hard to be) is singer Chris Brown. He’s the guy who slapped around his girlfriend Rihanna and has since launch an image rehabilitation campaign. Word is, he is getting back some of his followers. However his neighbors won’t be among them. Brown, among the dregs of society in The Shad’s view, doesn’t just park in the HC spots in his condo complex which has done many times, according to TMZ (ok, so they don’t exactly have Woodward and Bernstein working there but they are good at celebrity news). He is accused of being “disrespectful, blasting loud music and partying day and night … even racing dogs down the hallways at all hours. And that’s not all. [TMZ was] told police showed up this week, after someone vandalized the elevator by carving “C.B.” on the elevator door. Mind you … Chris has only lived in the building a few months.”

Bynum and Brown—real quality people. This may be very un-p.c. to say and I’m a peaceful guy, but…The Shad wouldn’t mind it if both of these guys got a beat down to the extent where they would actually qualify to park in a HC spot. And for the record, I would support a mandatory weekend in jail for anyone caught parking in a HC spot. Try actually needing one. It’s no fun.