The Hanging Shad’s ‘Apropos of Nothing’

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“Apropos of Nothing” is simply a collection of short notes, commentary and observations. The Shad invites readers to contribute their own items. With apologies to Boston Globe sports writer Nick Cafardo from whom the name of this segment was lifted, here we go:

1. It simply couldn’t get any better if union stooge Jonathan Pelto challenged Gov. Dannel Malloy in a Democratic primary. It would lay bare his ridiculous obsession with criticizing all things Malloy without ever offering a shred of an alternative idea. Holding a grudge for three and a half years is pathetic and sad. Go ahead, Mr. Pelto, challenge Malloy from the left. See how far you get.

2. If Pelto enters the race, that would leave us with Grudge Boy, Whacky Lee Whitnum and deadbeat gun-nut truther Martha Dean. The material would write itself.

3. It turns out that in this day and age hospital food is not that bad, at least at Boston’s Massachusetts General. You even get to order off a menu. But I’m convinced they make you wear those Johnnies so the nurses won’t look twice at you.

4. Two-time failed gubernatorial candidate Bill Curry penned an interesting op-ed about John Rowland’s latest legal troubles. Curry seems to think Rowland was enabled and outside forces allowed him to be a dirt bag. That notion, of course, is ridiculous. Curry’s premise seems to be that if the state listened to him back in 2002 when Rowland whipped him 56 to 44 percent, Rowland would still be in jail and Curry would be governor. A couple of newspaper editorials or TV investigations would not have changed that outcome. Rowland and only Rowland is responsible for his troubles.

5. I just saw a TV ad for “FarmersOnly.com,” an online dating service for farmers, ranchers and good country folk “because city folk don’t understand.” It was something right out of SNL. Then I wondered whether I was disqualified because I live in Boston. Ya never know.

6. One of the most cringe-inducing stories of the past couple of weeks is that of rapper Andre Johnson. The Wu-Tang Clan affiliated rapper Johnson was on drugs when he cut off his genitalia with a serrated steak knife and jumped off a second floor balcony. Efforts to reattach the uh, pieces, failed. As my fraternity brother and comedian John Alston said, “Andre Johnson will now be known simply as ‘Andre.’”