A Thanksgiving Edition of ‘The Hanging Shad’s Apropos of Nothing’

Zamboni water fill only

Thoughts have gathered and need to be dispersed. Here we go.

1. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo may want to climb off the backs of upstate meteorologists. Cuomo claims they didn’t accurately forecast the recent snow for Buffalo and the state was caught off guard. First, they did get it right, most of them anyway. I went to Syracuse. If you’re “caught off guard” by heavy snow in Buffalo, maybe “being prepared” isn’t your biggest problem.

2. Nothing says “I stand for social justice” like burning down a dozen businesses that may have been able to hire you. It’s mind-numbing seeing charlatans like Al Sharpton nominally denounce violence in Ferguson but quickly say the “understand” it. What I don’t understand is why the national guard and police basically stood down as job-creators had their livelihoods destroyed.

There is no doubt a need to address the police v. African Americans problem in this country. Jumping up on a care screaming “Burn this bitch down” is no way to start it.

Lightening up:

3. Any good suggestions for a holiday movie? Recently I saw “Gone Girl”–not bad. “Big Hero 6”–saw it with a 10-year old so it was good no matter what. I really want to see “Birdman.”

4. Am I just getting older or is the dialogue on network television getting racier than ever? I can’t even write here what was said on episodes of “Scandal” and “State of Affairs” (a show that is so horrific, it’s hard not to burst out laughing).

5. My Red Sox are on a spending spree. Unlike most sports talk show hosts, I like the signing of the Kung Fu Panda and malcontent Hanley Ramirez. Now they just need number one-, two-, and five-slot starters.

6. I say this every year but it grinds my gears when people call Thanksgiving “Turkey Day.” Only Americans would rename a very special holiday after the food they stuff their faces with.

7. Elizabeth Warren is shaping up as a viable alternative to Hillary Clinton for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination. She is ready and willing to take on even President Obama when necessary. And it’s necessary now that he’s nominated yet another Wall Street big-shot banker to a treasury position.

Which leads me to a joke you can tell at the Thanksgiving dinner table:

Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.

“Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replies, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that, if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.”

God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill. “Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no-one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people’s pain.”

God thinks for a second and says, “Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.”

God then address Hilary. “Hilary, what do you believe in?”

“I believe you’re in my chair.”

Happy Thanksgiving
-Patrick