What Now, GOP?

First, let me say I wish there were one of these every week. The two Republican presidential primary debates Tuesday night were wildly entertaining. We had intrigue, confrontation, tension, nastiness and incompetency. It’s the best reality show on television.

Here’s The Shad’s take:

• Marco Rubio was smacked around by both Ted Cruz and Rand Paul but he survived. His former, reasonable position on immigration can play well in a general election but is an albatross in the GOP primary. He is also without a natural constituency. What state could he win if the respective primaries were held today? Answer: none. And yes, Marco, we get it. Your dad was a bartender and you were born a poor black child.
• Ted Cruz didn’t have the guts to call out Trump for calling him “a maniac” and saying he lacked “the temperament” to be president. Cruz strikes me as an evil genius type who can be very dangerous.
• I’m pretty sure Cruz called me “a horse thief.”
• I got all week kneed when Chris Christie looked into the camera and spoke directly to me! He strikes me as the fat relative who has to burp at the end of nearly every sentence.
• Ben Carson started his night with a moment of silence and decided to maintain it throughout the debate.
• I wanted to yell, “But the company stock tanked and you got fired!” every time Carly Fiorina cited her business experience.
• Rand Paul should bow out now.
• Jeb Bush mixed it up nicely with Donald Trump but he still looks incredibly stiff. He stumbled badly in his closing statement (for those who actually stayed tuned in until the end).

• Bush called Trump a “Kaos candidate who would be a Kaos president.” Reminds me:

Get Smart
• Donald Trump maintained he would bomb the Shiite out of ISIS. We need to fight ISIS Sunni rather than later. (See what I did there?)
• Trump maintained would “build a wall [on the border with Mexico] and it will be a great wall…” China immediately filed a copyright infringement suit.
• John Kasich made perfect sense. And was immediately disqualified.

There were some mashed potatoes thrown at the kiddie table debate. All you have to know is:
• The first 10 minutes or more were dominated by questions about what Trump has said.
• Rick Santorum is a certifiable lunatic.
• Lindsay Graham won the undercard contest (again) and it doesn’t matter one bit.
• Graham was funny, quick-witted, hawkish and even used a quote from the movie, “The Princess Bride”:

inconceivable