1. Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand.US women’s soccer team goalie Hope Solo isn’t doing much to endear herself to fans in Rio. It’s one of those things in which you should just go to the Olympics and do your best to protect your health or stay home. Solo decided it would be cute to tweet a picture of herself in mosquito netting before heading to Brazil.
Fans responded by chanting “zee-kah, zee-kah” every time she touched the ball.
2. No flopping allowed. Speaking of soccer, until FIFA can put in some serious rules governing flopping, I’m not watching. It’s not that I’m a soccer-sorehead. I actually played one year of Div. I soccer in college after four years starting in high school. It’s just insufferable to watch these players roll all over the ground every time they’re touched. After the one year at Syracuse, I switched back to my favorite sport—hockey—a sport in which you better require an ambulance if you’re writhing on the ice.
3. Room service? Send up some cavalier. The US men’s basketball team apparently doesn’t do village housing. They are staying on a cruise ship that costs $13,000 per room per week. Then again, my guess is they’re combined salaries are more than the GDP of a lot of the countries participating.
4. I‘m gonna win, like gold again, dude! US swimmer Michael Phelps is carrying the US flag in to the opening ceremonies. Let’s just hope he doesn’t spark up with some Rio Green and lose his way. (I kid because I love. He’s the most decorated Olympic athlete ever.)
5. The exit is right over there. Hey Donald, don’t let the door hit you in your assets on the way out. It’s getting easier to see how he gets replaced. The rules are murky but experts say it can be done. Trump shows no signs of dropping out voluntarily. But he has become a fulltime resident of Cookytown.
6. Up next? So who would replace Trump if he quits? Pence? Cruz? Jeb!? Melania?
7. You kiss your mom with that mouth? Ever wonder what it’s like on the floor of a Trump rally? Here is a sampling. NOTE: Vulgarity at the core of this:
8. Go Sox. We’re in a pennant race. That’s all that really counts.